Easkey Uncovered

Easkey Uncovered

Postby tripreporter » Sun Feb 25, 2001 4:33 pm

Members: Club Trip
Location: Easkey

Things were buzzing in the little village of Easkey, Friday night as the canoe clubbers poured into the exclusive location. Olga arrived first…..wrecked from chatting up local talent on the bus from Sligo..Odhran and Dougal next appeared, having been specially flown in by the Irish AirCorp, after Dougal allegedly tee-totalled his 'Rolls Rover' in Cashel

Meanwhile at Jordanstown, Shane worried that he might miss his bed time…the crew discovered that their ropes had been stolen…how were they to tie on the boats????? So…while James and Emma drove off to B&Q, Shane and Will managed to locate the resident canoe shed mouse and interrogate him (don't worry animal lovers..it wasn't violent..Shane's a vegetarian!)…after lots of cheese dangling the mouse gave in and revealed….RICK!…...we finally solved the mystery..

Mouse was subsequently rewarded with a bag of sugar for himself and rights to any boat he wanted to sleep in (with a few minor exceptions)… As the early arrivals checked out the local watering holes with their tour guide, the bustrippers were making their way….Jimmy somehow managed to stop off at Christina's for a savage meal….of lovin'!!!!!!

They finally arrived, pouring into the pub… Gerry fearing that sobriety was too much started the race to catch up on the other steaming members.. Dougal meanwhile was discussing the benefit of a good fitting wellie with a local farmer…. And the lovers started as they intended to go along…..staring longingly into each other's eyes… And the mingling went on into the wee hours!! Around bedtime, Olga discovered that she had left her negligée in Mags' house, so off they went on the bus…causing a slight stir in The McGrath household, which woke everyone up…

Everyone had nearly passed out from exhaustion…..or alcohol infusion…nearly everyone… At approximately 5.30am the hostel was struck by an unexpected tidal wave, the only one sober enough to notice being Margaret……there was a shadow-fountain pouring onto a bed…quickly, others noticed the sloshing noise… When the eternity ended..Odhran and Dougal removed themselves from the carnage site, leaving a distraught, traumatised Margaret abandoned…so she sought refuge with mammy Olga..

Just when things had settled down, a big CRASH-BOOM-BANG stirred the club…Gerry, so overcome with the incident (and copious amounts of vodka) had fallen down the stairs…. On recovery, Dougal comforted the bleeding wreck with the words of W.B. Yeats "Allrite there mucker" in his newly acquired Cork accent!!

Later that day… Bobbie The Stud Graham arrived, breaking the sound, speed and Garda barrier to get paddling arrived…. he's fierce keen ya know!! The river was pumpin' so the lads in-the-know put on the gear - Odhran exclusively decked out in a babygro, while Dougal scabbed gear off Freshers… And off they went…meanwhile the chicks cruised in the Schumacher Polo as the newly recruited Shuttle Bunnies…

Later that day swimmers were announced..the prize (as ever) going to Jimmy, but this time along with Gerry…..it was really because they were wrecked..one from all the lovin' and the other from..well..we'll not go into that again!!!!!! The freshers paddled the last section..in the distance two of them could be spotted trying to hold hands…!!!!!!!!!!

Then back to the hostel for showers and gourmet spag-bol prepared by exquisite chefs!! But! The shower queue was backed all the way up the hall for ages…investigators found the reason was caused by the newly joined at the hips, knees, ankles and toes couple were occupying the shower for a big scrub down!! Eh, who went in afterward???!!!

Drinking resumed, with most of the gang talking shite…Dougal however had other agendas…cracking onto a 57 year old mother of ten…AND HE WAS SHOT-DOWN!!!!!! - gettin' old and so are his techniques!!!! Next day the river was lower and almost everyone donned a wetsuit…paddling brilliantly..Will we hear managed to pull off a roll…nice one! That evening, Shane had gone AWOL with Bobbies aunty and James' girlfriend..and were missing for HOURS!! Poor Bobbie was stranded at Easkey castle with just his boat for company…we finally located the very tired looking diva Shane and headed for home!

On arrival at the sheds, mouse couldn't be located…but left plenty of waste behind, after the WHOLE bag of sugar proved just too much… As for Rick the rope nabber…he'll find himself tied up when he least expects it………..watch this space!!


The Roving Reporter (Dougal)
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Jul 28, 2012 4:28 pm

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